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November 18, 2019November 18, 2019niquedreaLeave a Comment on A Search with 3 Syllables

A Search with 3 Syllables

November 16, 2019November 16, 2019niquedrea

My Own Monster

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I had a realization a few days ago: I don't know how to play without feeling ashamed. I considered being an Adult doing the opposite of things I would have done as a child because "you grown now." So instead of going outside to shoot hoops, I found something else to clean, a new way to organize furniture, there's always a random concept to Google. However, I was really masking my fears: fear of allowing myself to explore, to fall, to color outside the lines without shame, to make mistakes. I was afraid to allow myself to live life fully. That was the realization I had: I'm never going to be perfect because dafuq does that even mean. But part of loving myself is allowing myself to live fully. Let's play :) https://femmenoir.blog/2019/12/15/blacked-out-part-9-niques-nestled-nipper/ #femmenoir #blog #blackedout #blackbloggers #poetry #poetsofinstagram #bloggersofinstagram #poweredbywordpress #blackgirlswhowrite #womenpoets #play #innerchild #innerchildhealing #loveyourself #dolphins #beadolphin #explore #livefully #liveoutloud #linkinbio #depression #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthintheblackcommunity

So I got up this morning and decided to scrap my plans to re-arrange my bedroom. My back ache, my bra too tight, and I'd rather write. Inaction, by people in power who are already protected and capable of taking action and making decisions, speaks volumes. When I needed a workplace to protect me from racial harassment, it was crickets. Their silence told me they had already made a determination that it wasn't serious, and had moved on I was told I was letting the "bad guys win" when I quit. ✌ https://femmenoir.blog/2019/12/01/the-way-they-just-moved-on-oh-lawd/

🎵y debajo tengo el difunto 🎵 🗣new blog post It pops into my head randomly that I pass the anniversary of my death day every year and I have no idea of knowing. Is it today? Was it a couple months ago? Also, I noticed a few of my last posts and ideas for future posts have been about haunting things and now, dying. I should journal about that. There's some unsettled energy 🤷‍♀️ https://femmenoir.blog/2019/11/20/dance-with-el-difunto/ #femmenoir #blog #eldifunto #muerte #bloggersofinstagram #blackwomanblogger #poetry #poets #poetsofinstagram #blackpoets #poweredbywordpress #wordpresscommunity #blackgirlswhowrite #blackbloggers #dance #itscoming

Since elementary school, teachers, classmates have mispronounced my name. When I would correct them, they would defensively say "can't I just call you *insert nickname here*?" At the time, I used to answer to whatever: they would straight up call me by my last name, mispronounce my first name or impose a nickname on me. I never thought my name was difficult to say. I still don't. Nope. I introduced myself- take the time. Every letter and syllable is there for a reason. https://femmenoir.blog/2019/11/18/a-search-with-3-syllables/ #femmenoir #poweredbywordpress #wordpresscommunity #wordpress #wordpressblog #poetry #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #blackbloggers #bloggersofinstagram #blackpoets #saymyname #notanickname #idefineme #allthesyllables #takethetime #sayitright #itsarespectthing #respect #loveyourself #identity

I used to love horror movies, things that go bump in the night, creepy crawlies. I thought they were exciting, a fun way to raise the heartbeat momentarily. It was nothing compared to the thoughts in my head. I was focusing on the wrong monsters for far too long. New blog post up! https://femmenoir.blog/2019/11/16/my-own-monster/ #poetry #wordpresscommunity #wordpress #poweredbywordpress #poetsofinstagram #blackbloggers #blackgirlswhoblog #blackgirlswhowrite #monster #monsterundermybed #scarythoughts #reallifeisscarier #femmenoir #blackpoets #womenpoets

I used to let other people's perception of me define my character and who I am. Thankfully I was able to recognize it and work on not doing that. I matter, who I am matters. Not a stranger's fake definition. https://femmenoir.blog/2019/11/03/whose-definition-of-me-is-me/ #femmenoir #linkinbio #blackbloggers #wordpresscommunity #poweredbywordpress #browngirlswhowrite #youmatter #idefineme #blossom #autonomy #agency #leavealegacy #comment #lifteachotherup

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